Thursday, November 29, 2012

A kick in the butt

I would say the past 2 months have been some of the hardest, most stressful in my entire life.  Micah was diagnosed with epilepsy a year and a half ago but the past two months his seizure activity picked up to such a remarkable level that he had to be rushed to the emergency in the middle of the night and then transferred to another hospital where they kept him for 4 days under close observation. That is the short version.

These pictures I took yesterday.  Micah had a really good day and was actually in a good mood, had boyish energy levels again, and was agreeable to some degree.  With the medication doses that he is on now, we haven't seen him like that in a week. I really don't want to talk about all my woes in this blog entry.  I've done enough of that lately.  Sometimes I depress myself.  You know, there is a place for venting, getting it all out, and admitting your feelings when you are overwhelmed and then there is a time when you just have to ask God to pull you out of the gutter and give you a new perspective!

Today was that day for me.  I was at one of Micah's many doctor appointments and the neurologist asked me if there was anything new that they should know about.  I began complaining about the meds not working all the way and some of the side effects we are seeing.

He encouraged me by giving me hope that they are trying to help him, it just takes time.  He asked another question and I went right back into that gutter again complaining once more about this crazy diet I have him on but am seeing no results.

He looked at me and said some people see the glass half empty and some half full.  Then he proceeded to say that if I were in a hospital waiting room, I'd be thankful that my child doesn't have half the problems as some others do.  Smack!  He shut me up real quick.  I didn't know whether to be offended or encouraged.  

After having hours to think about his words, I realize he is right.  I did need that smack up side the head!  I consider myself a pretty positive person most of the time but lately I'm a real downer.  So "thanks Dr. Ray" for speaking the truth and giving me something to chew on.

I'm thankful for these two precious little boys.  I'm thankful that Micah is at home and doesn't have to live at the hospital away from his siblings.  I'm even thankful that we have medication that controls, to some degree, his seizures.  May he grow to be strong, healthy and smart! I'm thankful he can walk, talk and give me hugs.  As I sit here writing this I'm realizing that I've been mourning the childhood that he Micah has been missing out on but really. . . he won't remember this time a few years from now!  It's ok.  God will give grace and is giving it daily to us.