Saturday, January 12, 2013


Julia and Anthony have been helping out a somewhat house bound lady that we know who lived close by.  Her husband works with mine at the same ministry.  Julia would clean her house every other week and Anthony would mow her lawn.  I sometimes would take her to her doctors appointments and then we'd go out for a milk shake and chat.  She had a cute little dog that would jump up in her lap and he was her baby.

We got a call the day before Christmas that she died suddenly in her sleep.  We all stood there stunned. She was always so joyful, not at all sickly.  She had a hard time getting around and sometimes had trouble with her memory.  She had pain but never much mentioned it.  None of us thought she was close to death.  It never crossed my mind.  She was only 64.

As I sat at her Memorial this week, I couldn't hold back the tears.  We started by singing a few songs and I realized I was a wreck.  We sang songs like Be Thou My Vision, Better is One Day, and 10,000 Reasons.   I was really surprised by how emotional I was?

  I think the significance of living life and then leaving life if so strange.  I mean it's beautiful to think about heaven and her life now. . . and a life well lived is so meaningful as well, but being here one day and then gone the next is so strange.  It's so sad.  I've always hated goodbyes and have avoided them all my life.  If you are a good friend and are moving far away where I might not see you much, you won't find me on the front lines saying farewell.  I'm just so uncomfortable with that.  So Wednesday at her Memorial, I had to say goodbye.  I'd rather not have had to but I didn't have a choice. My natural reaction was to cry.

Then as we watched a slide show of her life, a friend sang, Give Me Jesus by Jeremy Camp.  Isn't Jesus really what life and death is all about?  Perspective is always so good for me.  I'm a "here and now" kind of person.  It's difficult for me to see in to the future, to hope for the best.  God has to remind me so often that life is short and so much of the daily grind is not eternal.  When he pulls me out of the  "here and now" so I can see ahead, I find that when I look back, all that will matter is how I lived it for Him.  Give me Jesus!

When I come to die
When I come to die
Oh, when I come to die
Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
Just give me Jesus

  Here is a link to the song in case you want to listen:


Saturday, January 5, 2013

Independent Child

I'm still in shock about the experience I had yesterday with Micah at the vitamin store I frequently shop at.  It made me realize that Micah is more independent than any of my other children have been growing up.  I'm really quit stunned that he could be so confident and sure of himself at such a young age.  I mean, he is only 4 years old and this character quality doesn't run in our family in any significant way.

He has expressed his independence several times with his outgoing personality, walking up to total strangers and starting conversations with them.  He must believe that everyone is nice and wants to be his friend.  Thankfully that is almost always the case!  I pray all the time that God would protect him from those who might want to do him harm.  Too bad we live in such a yucky world!

I still remember the time he walked right up to the snack shop at the baseball game and ordered from a picture menu.  He said, "I'll take one of those!" and proceeded to point to an ice cream picture.  The lady working the stand was kind and just gave him one.  All I could do was laugh and lightly rebuke him for not asking me first as we walked away.

Over the past few months we haven't seen this side of him at all until yesterday.  Does this mean he is more himself these days?  I believe so, which is such a praise!

So back to my story about yesterday.  Like I said, I was shopping and had both little ones with me.  They were both in the shopping cart.  I'm not sure I'll be able to take Micah shopping with me once he grows out of it because he is everywhere and touches everything.  Major training needed but his ability to have self-control is so limited right now.  So once I finished shopping, I went up to pay.  Thankfully this is a small store and there were hardly any people there, just a few.  I took Micah out of the cart so we could fit the groceries in it.  He was strictly instructed to stay close to me and the cart.  He immediately went behind the counter and told the cashier that he was big enough to work there!  We laughed and joked with him about it.  As I was putting my stuff in my wallet and getting situated, I noticed he walked a few feet away from me and was out of view.  I figured the cashiers were watching him, I mean there were three behind the counter and my back was to the store.  When I wheeled my cart around, he was nowhere to be seen.  I thought, "Oh great!  He is probably down one of the aisles touching something he shouldn't!"  I proceeded to look down each aisle, calling his name.  He wasn't there!  Ok, he must have gone the other direction and be down another aisle?  I asked the cashier if he knew where he went and he joked and said, "We put him to work!"  Very funny!  Now is not the time to joke with me.  I hurriedly looked down every aisle and had that sinking feeling.  I felt foolish for calling his name because it drew attention to me and it never works anyway because Micah thinks it's funny when I can't find him.  Knowing him, he would hide from me and that just makes me look like a foolish parent!

Ok, so no Micah anywhere!  The only place he could have escaped to would be outside.  Would he have gone to the car by himself?  As I looked outside at my van, I saw no little boy.  I asked the other cashiers if they saw a little 4 year old go outside by himself.  The manager said she saw him go towards that direction.  At this point they were starting to help me out.  I still had to unbuckle Levi and get my bags and they could see the urgency on my face.  The cashier helped me with my bags while I got Levi out of the cart. As we approached the van, I saw the door somewhat ajar and I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that he was in the van.  Sure enough, there he was waiting for me.  I gave him a strong lecture on how he should never leave the store without me!  I thought he was lost and had been looking for him.  He didn't seem to understand by the look on his face.

All the way home, I kept thinking, if I'm not fully grey and haven't had a heart attack by the time I'm 50 (that's only 4 years from now) it will truly be a miracle!