I've been so busy this pregnancy that I haven't had a chance to prepare to have another child.
Around the middle of the 7th month, I began to feel the stress of this fact. I had some underlying thoughts and emotions about not being able to love this one as much as all the rest. And. . . (probably because I was too busy) I felt that I wouldn't have enough time to spend with all 6 equally.
Oh, I was prepared in the sense of having everything I needed to have a baby but mentally and emotionally I was not prepared at all.
I realized I needed time to think through some of these issues and let God renew my mind. I looked at my calender and realized that after June 10th, I would have nothing scheduled! Yeah! I was and am determined to not fill the last 6 weeks of this pregnancy with anything stressful if I have any say in the matter.
I also sat down and began to think through some of my reservations about having 6 children under my care. God so gently reminded me that he does not give us the ability to love in measured out increments. In other words, He hasn't given me 5 cups of love for mothering and no more so that I have to spread those cups between 6 kids. He gives me as much love as I need for each child.
He also showed me that I do not have to worry about having enough time for this little person. We have a house full of people who will meet the needs of each person in our family. It's not all up to me. If one of my children needs to talk all they have to do is ask me. If I'm not available, there are many other siblings or their Father that will talk to them. A large family has different needs than that of an only child.
I feel much better since I've been able to think through what I believe about these two concerns for mothers of large families.
One afternoon as I sat down to put up my feet, the beginning of a poem kept running through my head. Now this is a first for me. I do not write poetry. . . EVER! I can't even tell you what type of poem this is but it just came so easily as I pondered the baby within me. Soon, everything will change and I will be holding this baby in my arms instead of caressing my growing and active belly. Life will make a definite transition and this baby will have a name and personality to be observed by all. This is the poem I wrote for our new little one.
Do you know a Mother's Heart?
One who dreams and sings for many things
To hold you and kiss you
To love you and miss you. . .
This you know is a Mother's Heart.
Do you know your Mother's Prayer?
One who pleads and groans for qualities your own.
A faith that holds, a conscience that's pure
A wisdom that leads, a salvation thats sure
This, you know, is your Mother's Prayer
Do you know your Mother's Love?
She who is safe and kind and does not bind.
She is patient with you , she gives you her time
She believes in you, as she watches you fly
This you know, is how a Mother loves