Learning not to Fear

Well, we have a new diagnosis.  I saw the Neurologist Thursday morning and I'm beginning to realize that this is a more serious matter than I thought.  After talking with me and examining my eyes, the Neuro diagnosed me with not only 6th nerve palsy but also with a partial Horner's syndrome.  Want a short science lesson?  Here we go.  Horner's syndrome is a rare condition that affects the nerves to the eye and face.  It can be caused by any interruption to the sympathetic nerve fibers, which start in the part of the brain called the hypothalamus and run to the face. 

The doctor said I have a partial Horner's because my eyelid is drooping and my pupil in my left eye is small and not dilating properly.  She has ordered that I begin a series of tests that is quite extensive.  She began to rattle off what she would like done and Rich and I just sat there is shock.  I have to have an MRI, MRA, CT scan, blood work, a second opinion with a neuro-opthamologist, and she wanted me to start on a steroid pack immediately!  Woa, crazy, I know.  The steriod pack will decrees any swelling I might have which could be the cause of the headaches.  I'm not having them as nearly as severe as in the first few days but am having mild pain at night when I lay down.  You know, just enough to keep you awake.

I started the steroid pack this morning.  Please pray that it will not effect me in any negative way and that it won't effect Micah either as I'm nursing him.  I checked about this, by the way, and my pediatrician re-assured me that it won't be harmful for him.  I decided to go ahead and do it since it's just a 5 day treatment.  If you know me very well, you know that I'm "Miss Natural" and don't like to take anything that isn't.  So this is a stretch for me.  Wednesday we will be having all three x-ray procedures done at once.  Please pray for this too as I have to lay very still for about an hour while they do the MRI/MRA.

Last night Rich and I researched this Horner's syndrome and it left feeling very frightened.  Everything we read said tumor or legion as causes and I began to see the seriousness of it all. When Rich came to bed, he prayed for me that God would remind me of the verses I know to give me comfort and immediately I remembered one I had memorized in preparation for labor 5 month ago.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you

Be not dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you, yes I will help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I would really appreciate your prayers for my peace of mind during this time and also that the doctors involved would diagnose me correctly. 

May I remember God's faithfulness to me and not be afraid,

Kristin